30 Tips for being a happy Police Wife

When little girls dream of their happily every after I’m sure they dream of cooking supper and no one coming home to eat it or sitting alone watching TV on a Saturday night.  If this isn’t what you dreamed of, then the life of a Police Wife will take some getting used to.  It is a wonderful life and I wouldn’t trade it for anything but there are some tricks that I have learned in the past five years that have made this life easier for me, my husband, and our son.  Hopefully these can help others who are new to the Police life or have been with one for 50 years.  And what about those Police Husbands who’s wives are the thin blue line?  Some of these might help you too!
Be Flexible

  1. Sometimes you are going to cook lunch or supper and they will get called to a wreck or domestic dispute.  Just take that yummy meal, put it on a plate, and put it in the fridge.  He will come home later and will love your cooking then.
  2. When his phone rings at 1:00 am don’t freak out.  Getting called out will not happen as much as you think it’s going to.
  3. Don’t plan anything way ahead.  People are always asking me to do things 3 or 4 months in advance.  My life doesn’t work that way.  If it is something very important tell your husband he will need to take off but otherwise just wait.  Hopefully people will understand.
  4. Holidays are just another day of the week for a police man.  The fun days when everyone is getting together are my husbands biggest work days.  Try to make the day special and start your own family traditions.
  5. Sometimes we will be right in the middle of a conversation and he will say “Can I call you back, I’ve gotta go get this guy”  Just let them go and they will call you right back after they have ruined some poor speeding souls day.
  6. Never underestimate the power of a drunk to ruin your plans.  Ugh!
Shift Work
  1. Although shift work varies from department to department, it still stinks sometimes.  Make the time you have together count.
  2. Make time for dates.  For us once a week isn’t possible but we try to go out as much as we can.
  3. Keep your kids in some type of routine.  Keep bed times and supper times as close to normal as you can.  Just because your husband is staying out until midnight doesn’t mean you all have to stay up too.
  4. Find things to look forward to when your husband is working nights.  Go get that movie you love and he hates.  I do most of my sewing and crafts when he works nights and I look forward to it every month.
  5. If you are a big scaredy cat like me, get a security alarm.  I set it and can sleep knowing we are safe.  We have ADT and I always feel good when it’s on.
  6. Be independent!  Don’t be scared  to go to that  party with friends or church event without your husband.  It can be scary sometimes but load the kids in the car and just go.
  7. Build a support system of friends, family, etc. who know that sometimes you will be without the husband and who will welcome you and help you out too.
  8. Let them take naps…they aren’t being lazy.  Staying up all night isn’t easy.  I have a bag that I put get ready stuff in for when I know I will need to get dressed while he’s sleeping.  Then I just move into the other bathroom just for that day.
  9. Invest in some dark or blackout curtains.  I took regular black ones and put them behind my pretty ones in the bedroom.  It makes a huge difference and makes the room ideal for nap taking after a night of work.
  10. Plan your meals around your spouses shift work.  Plan easy quick meals during the night shifts so that if they get to come home, you can just relax.  Save your Pinterest inspired creations for when you have more time.
Deal with the Fear
  1. Don’t play the “What If?” game.   They are probably fine and laying in bed in the dark thinking about every terrible cop show you have ever seen isn’t going to help.
  2. If you call them and they don’t answer, don’t assume the worst.  Usually when my husband doesn’t answer he is doing something very safe and very unexciting.  🙂
  3. Always give hugs and kisses and say “I Love You”  I like for that to always be the last thing he hears me say before he goes to work.
  4. Don’t let him tell you every detail of the terrible fight he was in or terrible wreck he just worked at night.  Ask him nicely to tell you in the morning.  I always take the devastating details better when the sun is up!
  5. There are lots of very silly stupid people out there.  The good news is that most of them are scared to death of your husband and what is going to happen to them.  This always makes me feel better.
  6. Don’t over share information with your children.  They will find out about the dangers of their dad or moms job soon enough.
  7. Pray Pray Pray!  I don’t know how I could be a Police Wife without my faith in God.  I know that he is watching over Dane every second and that everything happens for a reason.


Be Proud & Supportive
  1. They have chosen this important and sometimes difficult and dangerous job.  Make sure they know how proud you are as often as you can.
  2. Subscribe to XM radio if your husband is in the car most of the time.  Dane loves his XM!
  3. Let them share their stories with their adoring public.  I have stood as people lined up at church to hear what Dane did on a Saturday night.  I guess they love to hear the stories and guys love to tell them too so it works out.
  4. People love to make the same jokes about what car they drive and not to pull them over.  Just laugh every time even if you want to cry from hearing it for the 1000th time.
  5. Make sure your kids are proud of their dad (or mom).  Go to their parent days dressed in uniform.  Let them get in the car and pretend.  Buy them all of the police clothes they can find.
  6. Respect all officers from other departments and teach your kids to do this too.  I know there are friendly rivalries between the city, state, and sheriff offices but they are all working toward the common goal to keep people safe.
  7. Be supportive even when you don’t want to.  It’s not always easy but help them as much as you can.

For more about dealing with fear, please check out this post too!  Good little tips to keep you sane 🙂

How to Handle the Fear of Being a Police Wife: Tips to Keep you Sane!

Click here to download your FREE Police Printable

What are your tips for living with a police man or woman?
By |2015-04-11T20:16:44-06:00August 13th, 2013|69 Comments


  1. There's Holezel March 31, 2019 at 3:33 pm - Reply

    I know all the pro and cons I been dating a cop and we are going to get married and I can’t wait to marry my hero in blue . I know all about holidays planning sleeping alone . I was married before . And that man had a job he was home 1 day a week and sometimes after work wanted to relax I understand all this . I know about the calls we live in a small town so in 2 years it’s not that awful . I am proud if him . I would never think to ask him horrible things about his job . Oh say oh honey how was your day seriously . Our time apart make our time together like super special and loving . I can’t wait it be his wife next July . We are having a police officer wedding my choice well not everything .

  2. Sofia February 6, 2019 at 8:18 am - Reply

    I am a 19 year old nursing student and my boyfriend is 23 and will be graduating the academy in March. It has been pretty hard the last few weeks for me, we always make time to see eachother on fridays when he gets out and all day on saturday but recently I just get super upset anytime he has to leave and go back home. Any tips to make it easier and how to get prepared for after he graduates?

  3. Lucy January 26, 2019 at 2:31 pm - Reply

    Hello thank you for this post. I am currently dating a cop and he has 16hr work schedules. I do feel like on his days off I dont get any attention or effort put into talking to me. should I be worried? Any advice would be helpful thank you

  4. rohit aggarwal October 30, 2018 at 12:59 am - Reply

    Thanks for the information

  5. Jenn July 1, 2018 at 11:23 am - Reply

    We tend to forget that police officers have a hard job. I first starting dating my boyfriend two years ago and I, at first, didn’t understand why he’d cancel a date, that I was waiting on for weeks or why he never responded to a few messages. We ended up parting ways as friends and Now I completely understand why. I was too needy and not independent, thought he was seeing other girls, I completely destroyed that relationship. He needed someone positive and flexible. We stayed friends. In March of this year we reconnected and it’s been great! I’m a completely different person And he sees that. Im more independent, I play sports 4 times a week and I have my own life. I wish I would have read this article two years ago as it is very helpful but us parting ways was God’s plan at the time. I believe that’s god was telling me That I needed to grow on my own. I traveled to Thailand, by myself and I found my balance. Like I said I play sports 4 nights a week and it’s all with different men/ women and who all inspire me in different ways. I now know that I needed to focus more what we had together and not the time lost. So he cancelled a date, he probably seen something horrific and just needed to go home and try to forget. I work 8-430 where he’s 6-6 days and nights all in one week. He gets 4 days off and has to play his sports, see his son and spend time with his family and friends. I let him get away once and there is no way I’m letting that happening again so on the days I’m feeling low I’m going to re-read this article and remember to stay strong as he loves me very much.

    Thank you 🙂

    • Dina January 2, 2019 at 3:45 am - Reply

      Thank you for posting this comment. I recently started dating a cop and our time has been far and few between. I thought i was independent, but I noticed that i am spoiled and clingy. Having read this article and your comments are exactly what I needed to read. I too thought/think he is cheating but i fail to realize the stress and high impact of the job! Wow, God’s timing is perfect for me to see this! This is gonna help me so much!

  6. Stephani January 6, 2018 at 7:53 pm - Reply

    My husband is one in a very long line of police officers. One thing my mother in law told me when we first got married is to always find the silver lining and focus on that whenever I’m upset or discouraged. I’ve learned to appreciate stretching out on my bed and watching whatever I want on TV when he’s on a grave shift. I also use those shifts to read the books I never get to read when he’s home. And my favorite one? Cereal for dinner! It’s rough at times but I’m so proud of my husband and I can’t imagine him ever doing something else.

    • Deonna January 6, 2018 at 9:53 pm - Reply

      Hey Stephani! That’s so true! I watch my own shows and eat take out and it’s great!

    • Laura May 15, 2018 at 4:20 pm - Reply

      Thank you! My husband is about to start the police academy. This was very helpful.

  7. Steph December 27, 2017 at 3:07 pm - Reply

    I love this!! even though we don’t have children yet, a lot of these helpful points are so accurate and it makes me feel better knowing other people understand what I’m going through. Thank you! 🙂

  8. Mandi December 14, 2017 at 1:20 pm - Reply

    This is so darn helpful! My husband has been working in a jail for almost 2 years now and the shift work can make us feel like passerby’s in our own home! He just graduated from the police academy and is now awaiting a promotion. I know it’s only going to get more intense, but I’m so darn proud of him and these tips help immensely! I’m just starting my blog and plan on posting about the trials and whatnot that come along with being a police wife. Looking forward and excited there is a community out there for us!

  9. michelle September 27, 2017 at 12:24 am - Reply

    thank you so much for all the information you have put in here I been dating this guy and I was ready to end the relationship do to not understanding what really goes on in there daily lifes and the hard work he and all hes coworkers do out there thank you you made me understand and be so clear on a lot of things thank you again

    • Deonna October 5, 2017 at 8:56 pm - Reply

      Hey Michelle! Yeah it’s a hard life sometimes but it’s a great life too! 🙂 It just takes some getting used to and some understand like you said. 🙂

  10. […] If you haven’t read my police wife posts, please check them out here and here! […]

  11. Lacey January 5, 2017 at 10:45 am - Reply

    Thank you so much for this. My fiancé is 8 weeks into being on the Shelby County Sheriff’s Department. This post was informing and encouraging all at the same time. It is definitely a lot harder than I thought it would be, but it is so rewarding. He has become such a stronger man in the work place and in our relationship. Every moment spent with him is cherished and I cannot wait to see where this career takes him.

    • Deonna January 16, 2017 at 8:30 pm - Reply

      Hey Lacey! I’m glad you found some encouragement and please stay in touch and let me know if you ever need to complain 🙂

  12. Danielle December 16, 2016 at 9:14 am - Reply

    Thank you for this post. My husband is about to enter the NYPD academy, and this article was so helpful and positive. I emailed it to myself so I can read it again in the future.

    • Deonna December 28, 2016 at 9:33 am - Reply

      Hey Danielle! I will pray for safety for your husband and that he will LOVE his job! 🙂 Please stay in touch!

  13. Sarah August 30, 2016 at 4:37 am - Reply


    I wish I would have read this a few months ago. My husband took a new job as a law enforcement officer and I was not prepared. I have done a horrible job of supporting him! This list is so helpful and makes so much sense. This life isn’t easy but I know we can make it work as long as we both work at it! Your words have been an inspiration.

    • Deonna September 1, 2016 at 2:03 am - Reply

      Hey Sarah! Good I’m glad that my advice helped out a little bit…it can be hard to get used to but it’s a great life! 🙂 Stay in touch!

  14. Jessica August 18, 2016 at 2:55 am - Reply

    Thank you so much for your post!!! It has really put my mind at ease. My boyfriend of three years is finishing up the academy here in Florida and with everything going on I’m really scared. I support him a million times over and over. I’m a third grade teacher and I know we will get married and I will always be by his side!!
    Thank you again!!

    • Deonna August 19, 2016 at 3:33 am - Reply

      Hey Jessica! Glad you came by to say hi! You will get used to some of the hard things and the rest will be great. There are so many wonderful things about being married to a police officer and I love being so proud of him!

  15. Jen August 7, 2016 at 8:44 am - Reply

    Thanks so much for this post. My husband is in the process of a carrier leap from Sheriff to RCMP. He is at the start of his Depot journey and I am home with our 3 & 1 year old and pregnant. Thank you a million times. Everything I was reading was making me feel overwhelmed, your post made it all feel hard but do able. I can put dinners on The fridge, I have an alarm system and I can say I love you as he leaves. Thanks for being there and walking this road ahead of me.

    • Deonna August 17, 2016 at 10:41 pm - Reply

      Hey Jen! Thanks for coming to say hi! Yeah My husband is working nights this week and it’s always during these times that I have to take my own advice. 🙂

  16. Jessica July 27, 2016 at 7:05 pm - Reply

    Hello! I am 22 and have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. He is about to complete his first year with LAPD, and we are at a stage in our relationship in which we are ready to take things to the alter sometime next year. The first 8 months of his first year were pretty easy for me, I had prepped for understanding a crazy schedule. Recently his shift changed and the past 3 months or so I’ve noticed he has lacked energy or excitement about dates, planning, or even leaving his apartment. I’ve also noticed it hurts me more when he has to cancel to to overtime because of a drunk person. Any advise on how to move forward and continue a happy healthy relationship?

    • Deonna July 27, 2016 at 8:00 pm - Reply

      Hey Jessica! Oh man I feel your pain. I was actually married to my husband before he went to the academy so police wife life is all I have ever known. I will say that I know how it’s disappointing sometimes when they are really tired and don’t wanna go out. My husband would rather stay home with pizza than go out so I get it but that might just be a personality thing. I do know that when they switch from nights to days and back and forth and really wears them out. I will say that drunk people will ruin your plans over and over again and it sucks. My husband is a pilot now and I hate it when drug dealers can’t handle their business between 9 and 5. 🙂 Besides what I said in the post I would just say that I love my husband and that being a police wife is tougher than just a 9-5 office job but I wouldn’t have it any other way. 🙂 Please stay in touch!

  17. Michaela March 22, 2016 at 6:00 pm - Reply

    This was a great read. My long time boyfriend is just about to become a PO and we’re both worried about the effect it will have on our relationship and also our 8 year old. I am a nurse who will be heading back to school when he graduates this summer so we know it’s going to be rough for awhile. This post was very helpful and I am going to check out the book mentioned in above comments. Both nurses and officers have higher divorce rates so we know ahead of time that communication really has to be key. I’m still nervous though. Thanks for writing this!

    • Deonna March 26, 2016 at 7:10 pm - Reply

      Hey Michaela! Love your name 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and I’m glad you enjoyed the tips. Stay in touch!

  18. […] 30 Tips For Being A Happy Police Wife […]

  19. Chrissy January 11, 2016 at 12:26 pm - Reply

    I find it hard to deal with all the constant girls hitting on them. I trust him totally but just the fact that it happens alllll the time! They don’t even think about the fact that they have families at home. I would never say some of the things they say even if I wasn’t married!!

    • Deonna January 11, 2016 at 10:16 pm - Reply

      Haha Hey Chrissy! I worked at a school when my husband was in Highway Patrol and a teacher was telling me about how she tried to flirt with him and she knew he was my husband…I was kinda mad but then I remembered she was like 15 years older than me 🙂 My husband said it would actually make him mad…not flattered…which made me feel better!

  20. Haley December 18, 2015 at 3:11 am - Reply

    I am a State Trooper and my boyfriend (whose name is Dane too!!!) is a City Police Officer. We have been having trouble lately due to funky shift work and our days off never matching up. I enjoyed reading this and it made me cherish the awesome, hard working, man that I call mine! Thank you!

    • Deonna December 19, 2015 at 3:54 am - Reply

      Hey Haley! That’s so crazy his name is Dane…not a super common name. I used to hate when I was teaching and we would completely miss each other for about two weeks or so. I hope you two have a better week this week and maybe you can try to meet up with him during his shift sometimes…if that’s allowed! 🙂

  21. Kayla November 20, 2015 at 5:10 pm - Reply

    I’m 18 and just got married. My husband just moved from dispatching to becoming a police officer. It has worried me because someone in the next county just got shot and has saddened the community. Reading this helps a lot!

    Thank You!


    • Deonna November 20, 2015 at 9:42 pm - Reply

      Hey Kayla! Yeah I hate hearing about police shootings and that was my worst fear when my husband was stopping cars on weekends and stuff. Now he is a police pilot so that’s a whole other set of concerns! 🙂 I’m glad you love the blog and hope you stay in touch! Have a great holiday!

  22. Cameron October 27, 2015 at 3:04 pm - Reply

    My dad is an ER doctor so I grew up knowing shift work. I’m a paramedic who does 48s and my husband is a cop. Weird schedules are what we are all about!

    My biggest advice is when it comes to holidays. Some people have a melt down that their family member has to work a holiday. I suggest you do what we did growing up and still do today. Find a day on the calendar that EVERYONE has off. It might be two weeks before or after the holiday and celebrate then. It will be every bit as special. A fun day with family eating turkey, opening presents, hunting for Easter eggs, etc is what it’s all about. Who cares what date the calendar says? The only time working holidays sucks is when you get left out of family celebrations, so please be understanding.

    Also, if we are at work and on the phone with you and say, “I’ve got to go” just say “OK” and hang up.

    • Deonna October 29, 2015 at 7:46 pm - Reply

      Hey Cameron! Yeah I’m realizing that the medical field can have equally frustrating schedules…I love your ideas! I honestly have a hard time every holiday when I am alone at home but I’m learning to just get out there and go trick or treating alone or go see fireworks with just the kids. I love the idea of having a holiday on a different day…genius! 🙂

  23. Lauren October 2, 2015 at 12:59 am - Reply

    Thank you for this! As a rookie police wife (my husband is a former high school English teacher–huge change for both of us!!), I’ve read a lot of different books/posts/blogs about what to expect–and most of them were very negative and scared me half to death.

    This was the perfect advice for me. It’s all very do-able–all I want to do is be as supportive of my husband as I can.

    Thanks again!! 🙂

    • Deonna October 2, 2015 at 8:14 pm - Reply

      Hey Lauren! Wow that’s a big change from teacher to police! Yeah I have never read a blog post about being a police wife because I didn’t even think to research it. My husbands dad was a trooper too so my mother in law let me know how it was going to be. 🙂 I really tried to be upbeat with this post but also tell the truth. Let me know if you ever need anything!

  24. Randall Arsenault September 15, 2015 at 2:31 am - Reply

    Excellent late night read, I’ll be sure to pass this along. Being an Officer and with my father being an Officer before me, I’ve often thought about writing from a kids perspective. Keep up the good work!

    • Deonna September 15, 2015 at 4:15 pm - Reply

      Thank you Randall! Yes my husband was the son of a trooper too so he knows all about life as a kid of a police man. I appreciate you stopping by!

  25. Jamie September 9, 2015 at 8:15 pm - Reply

    This would have been my same advice I’d give!! Perfectly written! I pray for my husband all the time! God is definitely our center! 🙂 its definitely a very demanding job but he truly loves his job!!

    • Deonna September 10, 2015 at 8:02 pm - Reply

      Hey Jamie! Thank you for your kind words! I love meeting new police wives who have similar beliefs 🙂

  26. amanda August 29, 2015 at 11:24 pm - Reply

    This last week has been a rough one, and every single item you listed is spot on and spoke to my heart. I, too, don’t know how we could do this important job of being police wives without faith in God. Thank you for a great post! Blessings.

    • Deonna August 30, 2015 at 12:04 am - Reply

      Hey Amanda! I’m glad you could relate to this post. I will pray for your family and I am happy to know that you have that faith in God. I really don’t know how police wives could survive without it 🙂

  27. Elle July 17, 2015 at 8:16 pm - Reply

    Wow this is so spot on! I love it!

    • Deonna July 17, 2015 at 9:03 pm - Reply

      Hey Elle! Thank you SO much for stopping by and reading…please share with other police wives 🙂 We need all the support we can get!

  28. Mindy July 3, 2015 at 4:21 pm - Reply

    TY so much for these articles. I well be a police wife soon and wanted to read things like this now and be prepared. I wanted to follow you on Pintrest but don’t know where to find you

    • Deonna July 6, 2015 at 2:28 pm - Reply

      Hey Mindy! I am glad you found these tips useful. I have a link in my sidebar that allows you to follow me on Pinterest, Instagram, etc. 🙂

  29. […] have been receiving lots of emails from girls recently who read my Tips for Being a Happy Police Wife asking me how I deal with the fear.  Most of these girls are newlyweds or are about to marry a […]

  30. Dayna McEachern May 19, 2015 at 6:16 pm - Reply

    I have been married to a PO for 24 years, all these things are true!! Patience, honesty and understanding are the keys to success in a marriage to a PO. My son is now a PO and married for four years with a new baby. My advice to my daughter-in-law? All the same in this article but in addition, I gave her the book, I Love A Cop, by: Ellen Kirschman PhD. My husband teaches Emotional Survival in at his dept. academy and this is the book he STRONGLY recommends every family read.

    • Deonna May 19, 2015 at 8:26 pm - Reply

      Hey Dayna! Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I need to read that book…I’ve never heard of it. I am so happy to hear about a police family with such a long, great marriage when we are surrounded by divorce in the police world. Yay YOU!!! My mother-in-law is a police wife too so she knew what I was getting into 🙂

  31. Arlene April 29, 2015 at 3:04 am - Reply

    This is a great post! I’m currently dating a police officer and it is hard, sometimes we go a whole day without texting if I don’t text him and it devastates me but I feel like I bother him if he doesn’t text me. How do I work with that, I don’t want to confront him since I know he has things to worry about. He has also been married and divorced twice and I myself 1 so I don’t know if he is scared of being in a relationship again or I’m overthinking stuff. I also start the police academy in August so we will be coworkers, let’s see how that goes. Anyway, great post

    • Deonna April 29, 2015 at 6:50 pm - Reply

      I would just ask him if it bothers him if you text him during work. Sometimes my husband would tell me “I can’t talk to you today because someone is riding with me” or something like that. I am a stay at home mom right now so I forget people are actually at work 🙂 If ya’ll get married someday, I would recommend being very open because that will really help and strengthen your marriage! That will be interesting being co workers 🙂

  32. Paige Ray March 29, 2015 at 1:19 am - Reply

    Love this! It takes as Strong, Confident, Patient Woman to be Married to a Hero in Blue…from a Wife, Daughter, and Mom(of a soon to be P.O.) Thanks for Sharing your Post…there is Soooo much Negativity surrounding our Families in Blue…more than Ever

    • Deonna March 30, 2015 at 1:35 am - Reply

      Thank you Paige! Yeah there is so much negativity and I hope this shares how wonderful our police husbands are 🙂 I know we are all SO proud of them!

  33. Meg March 9, 2015 at 7:12 am - Reply

    I’m up at 12 a.m right now worried about my boyfriend who is currently working a grave shift. It helped me so much to read this and be reminded to most importantly pray for him while he’s working. Hopefully now I can get some sleep feeling that he is protected:)

    • Deonna March 10, 2015 at 1:02 am - Reply

      I’m glad you feel a little better. Go watch a happy movie and I bet you will sleep fine 🙂

  34. Sarah February 20, 2015 at 11:55 pm - Reply

    I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and he became a police officer about 4 months ago. We plan to get married one day, but I am still in college so it is a few years off. I loved what you said about having your faith in God. He is the only way I can stay so understanding and caring when it comes to my boyfriend. I am going to school to be a nurse, so I definitely understand the shift work, so that helps a little :). Overall, I am really excited to be on this new journey with my boyfriend and it is so nice to see an encouraging blog like this. I always see so many people complaining about all the things that they have to deal with when they date/are married to a police officer and it breaks my heart. Sometimes it is difficult and I worry, but I couldn’t be prouder of my boyfriend.

    God Bless,

    • Deonna February 22, 2015 at 11:39 pm - Reply

      Thank you for your wonderful comment Sarah. I can tell that you are such a support to him and that you will be for many years to come 🙂

  35. Miranda A February 12, 2015 at 7:10 am - Reply

    Thank you for this list. It was helpful! My fiance and I have been together for 7 years and he has always wanted to be an officer. He just started the academy last month, so I am beginning to adjust. Hearing that the divorce and suicide rates are so high in law enforcement families didn’t help my worries. I’m glad to see that it is possible to maintain a happy life. Thank you and God bless.

    • Deonna February 12, 2015 at 3:31 pm - Reply

      Hey Miranda! Yeah I have heard that the divorce rate is high and that is something to be aware of. You have to trust your husband because there are so many times when he gets called out or has to work late. There are opportunities for infidelity but it’s up to both of you to make sure that never happens. As far as the suicide thing, I haven’t heard of that as much, but your husband will see tragic things that the average person doesn’t see. Try to be there for him and when you aren’t enough, sometimes they might need professional counseling if they go through something especially traumatic. I hope your fiance has a great academy experience 🙂

  36. Caroline February 11, 2015 at 7:36 am - Reply

    Thank you for this, I have started dating a Police Officer and sit up all night to get his texts that let me know he’s ok. We have talked about getting married, but we are both scared he’s been married twice and I have never been so it would be a learning experience for the both of us. I’ve been planning on going to the police academy and working with a different department. That is another worry we have. I really needed this after I received a text that said “Going to a stand off involving a stolen car. Love you bunches!” My heart dropped as I am still adjusting to this life. I am happy to report that he was able to catch the fugitive and get the car back with minimal damage so that helped calm me down. I just wanted to say thank you for taking time to write this I’m saving it and will probably read it every time I get that bad feeling.

    • Deonna February 11, 2015 at 5:47 pm - Reply

      Thank you for the sweet comment Caroline. I’m glad he is ok 🙂 I think police families have to work extra hard to have a great marriage because there is a WHOLE lot of trust involved and lots of time apart but we are making our marriage work and thrive. It’s can be a wonderful life if both of you are willing to put in a lot of effort! Please come back and stay in touch!

  37. Deonna February 5, 2015 at 5:13 am - Reply

    I lost about 100 comments on this post when my site switched over and they were all SO great 🙁 I’m sad!

  38. katie December 30, 2014 at 2:25 am - Reply

    ahahaaa! the worst! ^^^that just made me laugh audibly.

  39. Christine December 18, 2014 at 6:52 am - Reply

    We both work at different Police Departments and at times don’t see each other for days due to opposite shifts. We leave each other little love you notes, I have put them in his pocket or wallet. It can be hard, learn to go with the flow and make the best of the time you have together even when your tired…. . We have been together for over ten years now and do have a 12 year old (his son) living with us.

    • Deonna December 18, 2014 at 5:59 pm - Reply

      Yeah you are right about making the time you have great!

  40. Deonna September 12, 2013 at 11:06 pm - Reply

    thank you! I know I’m excited that people are reading it!

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